exsertus exchange

thank you to everyone who came to the final evening at Waygood. Thank you also for your thoughtful comments on the performance and installation.
I was fed by most people; some only gave a little, others gave a lot. Some people didnt feed me at all. Perhaps for you it was maybe an overwhelming experience and very intimate. Perhaps some people thought, 'well some artist just being well, an artist!' It was certainly intimate for me. I was aware that with some people being in the space was difficult. Other people seemed to respond to the stillness and it maybe felt more comfortable for them.
Either way, I learned a lot about myself and I think the experience changed me in some ways. For example Im more grateful about what i do have and Im more impatient with myself when I demand, or make demands for more..............
Be well,
See you soon,
Carole Luby.

exsertus exchange

Its my penultimate day here in the space. ive become attached to it, although at night it gets very cold.
every evening the performance changes slightly. Today Im making it more about hunger, less about childhood sadness.
I was thinking about asking people not to speak in the space. As i find it dilutes the experience for me and maybe also for you.
But I wouldnt want to be didactic about that.
If you want to talk, talk.

Maybe see you this evening.

exsertus exchange

thanks to those people who fed me today. Being in this space i feel peaceful and calm, but always slightly apprehensive that nobody will turn up.
The use of this space has given me an opportunity to make some comments about things I dont normally consider. Like, world poverty, hunger, loneliness and the harshness in some people's lives.
I let myself out for a little wander around the block. I felt a bit guilty actually.
This industrial part of Newcastle needs some love. It is neglected and unloved. But there are people living nearby as well. I thought of how different our lives are. me being holed up for five days in an artist's space and them going about their daily lives, putting washing on the line, feeding their cats and going to Lidls to get the shopping.
Perhaps ill see somebody tomorrow.

exsertus exchange

mmmmmmmmmm; thank you for feeding me. You were generous however I dont like eating this kind of packaged babyfood. How do we expect babies to survive on that? I think it would be healthier to give them mashed or pureed banana, or cooked apples or berries. On the other hand, a lot of the fruit is imported from afar (bananas) and we now get criticised for contributing to unbalancing universal homeostasis.

Im getting used to this space. It feels like being at boarding school where I was incarcerated from the age of four until 17. How did I survive? I think by becoming self resourceful and learning how to adapt and fit in. But at what cost?

the building creaks and hums and during the night there are predators, maybe its just the boiler groaning. I laugh at myself lying in my little bed. And ask, what am I doing here when I could be out on the beach, soaking up the spring sunshine and watching the dogs playing with each other and with sticks and balls.